Bethany Interpretive Nature Trail (Private)

Appealing to my Pedan Tree
Bethany Interpretive Nature Trail, Bethany
October 2024

This trail is private and may be visited by appointment only.

I’ll try… errr, I’ll tree. No, that’s not right.

How about I leave the zealoTRY for tree puns to Rick KaletSKY of BethaNY because clearLY my abiliTY to do so is palTRY.

Let me explain. Actually, let me go back a couple years to when I first met Rick at his home in Bethany.

Rick is the owner, operator, and curator of the has-to-be-seen-to-be-believed Muhammad Ali Museum of Bethany. Wait. Let me back up 10 minutes before I entered the Ali Museum.

Rick is the owner, operator, and curator of the tiny but heartfelt Bethany Museum of Impressionism which is located in the short entryway between the garage and the basement Ali Museum. Upon seeing it, and despite Rick clearly using the term “Museum” to describe what is, in effect, a couple replica paintings his daughter did many moons ago. I treated it seriously and wrote about my “visit” to that “museum.”

I went on to tour the Ali Museum, let a year pass, then wrote about that one.

To say that Rick was appreciative of my efforts, absurdly late as they were, would be an understatement. Hey, I love what he does so writing about it is the least I can do.

At the end of my tour he mentioned that he maintains a trail on his property as well, and calls it the Bethany Interpretive Nature Trail, or, BINT. He dropped some clues as to what the trial entails and I was intrigued. Or should I say… InTREEged.

You see, Rick love puns and wordplay. When you tour the Ali Museum, you will be regaled with a lot of puns and wordplay. Some are fantastic and some are awful – but Rick knows which are which, which is all that matters. I got the impression that the BINT was all about the puns and wordplay, but let another year pass by before making a date with Rick and his outdoor pride and joy.

I arrived with my son Damian at 8:30 one morning, while my other son warmed up for a soccer game nearby. One of Damian’s (many) quirks is his love of wordplay and puns. He may be intellectually disabled, but the boy does love a good pun. I had forewarned Rick that Damian wouldn’t say a word to him (I was right) and would ignore him completely (right again), but that he would enjoy the whole thing in the end (Bingo).

“Who” is that?

To describe the whole experience would sort of ruin the experience. Not that I expect too many of you to ever get the full Rick Kaletsky Experience. (Though you really should, if you enjoy the CTMQ experience.)

Drive up the long driveway and park in either Valet or Self-Park, just like the museum. Rick was there to greet us in his safari vest with his “Superintendent and Guide” lanyard.

Introductions to the property were made and away we went into his backyard. I was given a trail guide and a spiel about safety and drainage. (Rick is a workplace safety expert, one of the best in the field, so expect nothing less.)

Just as with the Ali Museum, there’s so much more here than I’d expected. In all, there are over 40 trees with labels. Each receives an explanation. The order of your trek matters for some of the jokes to work. There’s a Welcome Center, a Lecture Area, a Security Station (Sik-Yuruh Tree, sp. Sir Vaelinss), etc.

I purposely didn’t put any of the things in the preceding paragraph in qoutes because Rick takes this seriously. The amount of time, planning, and upkeep he must put into this is extraordinary. For example, here’s the “Simma Tree”

He makes sure that, from at least one angle, it’s as symmetrical as possible. Impressive.

Some of my favorites are Wuhntoo Tree (a group of three trees growing from the same root system), Enn Tree (the entry way tree), Sani Tree (it has a handwashing station), and of course Pundah Tree. My almost-favorite is ~~Bigga Tree~~… that’s “No Bigotry.”

Rick took us along the “path” from tree to tree and set up the jokes where set up was required. He deftly positions the visitor to get the best view to understand the story of the joke the best. The entire path is only a couple hundred yards, at most, but this is Rick Kaletsky’s yard and there are 50 stories/jokes here, so it takes some time.

There are other trees named in memory of various dogs the family has owned over the years. Once out front, off the official nature trail, there are more stories and more jokes. Some rock puns, like this one above a large piece of quartz:

The Supreme Quartz

Good one.

There are some extreeeeme stretches (Geenaw Tree, sp. Bakindasadl) – that’s Gene Autry and Back in the Saddle and a whole DeForest Kelley thing that requires some imagination (and the summertime greenery).

My absolute favorite is one I can’t really explain here on this family website. And, because Rick has INNTEGG RIT TREE, he was honest about the joke’s origins. While on a trip out west to somewhere near Death Valley, his guide was talking about the geology of the area and admitted he wasn’t an expert. He called one rock a Sex Rock, which is where Rick got his Sex Tree joke from. You’ll have to visit to hear the whole story and punchline.

After the trail, Rick brought Damian and I inside to see the improvements he’s made to the Ali Museum since I last visited. The “flow” is better he says, but more importantly, he’s added two new things: Printed out copies of my pages on the two museums. Laminated and protected for all of eternity. I was honored.

As ever, I could have stayed and hung out for hours. Unfortunately, I had a soccer game to get to (I’d already missed most of the first half, having spent an hour with Rick) and Damian has his limits.

Speaking of Damian, he asked for the printed “trail guide” with all the tree puns on it at home. He proceeded to read it at breakfast and dinner for about a week and a half. Over and over, and then he’d share one or two with me with a laugh. I knew he’d love it – just in his own private way.

Thank you Rick for once again opening up your home and property to me to share your unique wit and EX SENTRSITT TREE with me and my son.

All visitors to the BINT receive a complimentary BINT “special edition” writing instrument with an “on-board ruler, level, dual-head screwdriver, and rubber tip stylus.”