Book Review: The Cold Blue Blood

Blue Bloods and Blood. Lots of Blood.
The Cold Blue Blood, David Handler (2001)

This is the first in David Handler’s Berger and Mitry Mystery series

I’m going to introduce this mystery series by using the publisher’s introduction:

Welcome to the quaint historic village of Dorset, the jewel of Connecticut’s Gold Coast. And say hello to the mismatched romantic duo of Mitch Berger and Desiree Mitry, the freshest, funniest crime-solving team to come along since Nick and Nora Charles.

Bold. Heady. Nick and Nora Charles are a lot of live up to… and I’d never heard of author David Handler until I learned that this series takes place in Connecticut – and that Handler himself lives in Old Lyme.

I read a later book in the series first, and it compelled me to go back to the beginning. Back to where it all began between Mitch Berger and Desiree Mitry. The later book I’d read was so Connecticut, and so oddly entertaining… I’m hooked.

The Cold Blue Blood begins with a senseless murder of a single mother in Meriden. Handler’s geography is really quite accurate throughout his books and he’s not shy about shouting out all parts of Connecticut. Sure, he must use his creative license at times to make the story flow better, but by and large, if the two books I’ve read so far are indicative of the whole series, there’s not a more accurate mass market fiction writer when it comes to Connecticut towns, roads, sights, and geography.

And because of that, I’ll be sprinkling in snippets not just to prove my point, but because it’s fun for me. Like, this passage below. What’s up with the incredibly specific Meriden shade? Was this true in the 1990’s?:

That’s great, right? Clearly this is referencing the (now closed) Red Dog Saloon, the divey biker bar that was on Route 66 on the way west to Meriden. (I know, I know… it was technically in Middlefield, but then his Wesleyan bit wouldn’t work.)

So you get it now. A series of 300-page quick-reading murder mystery novels full of stuff like the above? Oh, we’re doing this. And we’re gonna love it.

I’ve also learned that David Handler seems to insert one truly awful metaphor or sentence in each book. I will be highlighting this each time as well:

As the first book in the series, we meet the “Berger and Mitry” of the Berger and Mitry Mystery series. Mitch Berger, a top film critic for the (never named, but clearly obvious) New York Times at a surprisingly young age, has become almost a recluse since his wife died one year ago. He spends his time secluded in his apartment or in the dark recesses of a screening room.

Mitch is a nice Jewish boy. But he’s falling into despair, so his editor sends him on a getaway under the auspices of writing a fluff piece about Connecticut’s elite. All the clichés are here about the white and wealthy Gold Coast residents. It’s great. I love it. It’s what the rest of the country thinks all of Connecticut is like.

Mitch is fortunate to find a cottage to rent on Big Sister, a tony private island outside the fictional town of Dorset – which for all intents and purposes is Old Lyme, if Old Lyme included East Lyme as well. It’s a whole thing. Dolly Havenhurst is a Peck and the Pecks have owned the island for 300 years and her husband just left her and cleaned her out. The other island residents are mostly Pecks and Pecks by marriage. They’re rich and snobby and don’t seem to want Mitch living on their island.

Dolly went to Miss Porter’s School in Farmington. Her ex-husband before the husband who just left her lives on the island with his new trophy wife. Dolly’s brother Red lives here too with his wife. Not enough? Another younger Peck lives on the island with his husband. Crazy, right?

What’s crazier is that Mitch digs up a murder victim while gardening. Here! On Big Sister Island!

Hoo boy, time to introduce Desiree Des Mitry, one of only three women on the Connecticut State Police major crimes squad. Oh, and she’s black. In case you don’t pick up on her being black, Handler will remind you of her blackness every few pages. She’s striking, tall, dreadlocked, and, well, black.

She’s also smart, artistic, professional. And black. Handler attempts to capture her blackness through her speech and… maybe when this was written in 2000 it was more realistic? Nah. Her vernacular was just a bit too weird and “white guy trying to write a black woman’s speech patterns” for me.

She’s also a cat lady who lives in Woodbridge.

The plot of the book is a bit bonkers. I’m not a veteran reader of mass market mysteries, but I’ve come to learn bonkers plots are sort of the norm. The author’s skill here lies in making these bonkers plots fun, fast, and interesting. Handler is able to do that.

This, in the face of all the stereotyping too. The nosy chatterbox chubby Jewish lady, the gay troubled former child actor – who, let me interrupt, had a really good bit of dialogue. He noted that child actors aren’t actors at all; they’re just cute kids who act like themselves, so when they get older and try to get other acting jobs, it’s really difficult because they’re not real people by then and actually don’t know how to act like other characters. It really made me think. Another stereotype are these people –

Handler lumps the white trash people as Swamp Yankees and it bothers me a little bit. All eastern Connecticut white trash aren’t Swamp Yankees and all Swamp Yankees aren’t white trash. I realize that nuance is a bit silly for these books, but I feel the need to point it out.

Where were we… oh yeah, the blue bloods wear the clothes and talk the talk of wealthy Connecticut Gold Coast dwellers… the trophy wife is a crazy sexaholic, the cops we meet are all out of Hollywood casting, and of course Des Mitry. She’s the black person.

She also falls for schlumpy Mitch through the story. There’s no reason why, but she does. These two go on to be a couple for the next dozen or so books in the series, so I was expecting a bit more of an explanation during their courtship. I guess you can’t help who you fall in love with and that’s that.

(In one scene, Des has entered Mitch’s cottage to check on one of her rescued cats and loses herself smelling Mitch’s shirts. It’s very weird and probably illegal. But at least it’s not like all the murder going on around town.)

Mitch becomes a major part of the story here and winds up helping Des try to sort out the mess. (This becomes their “thing” going forward, of course). Someone tries to scare Mitch, then someone tries to kill Mitch, then someone tries to seduce Mitch, then someone is fingered as the murderer, then someone commits suicide… hoo boy.

There’s more to the crimes and Mitch figures it out and saves Des’s reputation a bit after she unearths some uncomfortable police cover-ups from thirty years prior. The whole thing wraps up with Mitch figuring out the ridiculously convoluted plan.

I can’t wait for the next one. And apparently my local library is a fan as well:

Li’l Ol’ Dorset Violent Crime Count:

2 historic murders (one justified as self protection), 1 historic rape, 2 more murders, 1 Meriden murder by local later murdered guy. Some child abuse, a 50 year old guy has a baby with an 18 year old, some sleepwalking with murderous intent, an attempted murder in New York City, one painful oatmeal cookie metaphor, and some sexual assault and another attempted murder.

We’ll say… 8 Violent Crimes.

Series Running Total: 8

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