5TUP1D
Since I find myself driving all over the state, I’m bound to come across plenty of dumb, funny, confusing, and yes, sexual vanity plates. This is the exceedingly rare page on CTMQ that is crowdsourced. So feel free to help out.
After I posted this, I was alerted by a reader to his Flickr page with over 1,000 (mostly CT) vanity plates. Some good ones here; too much effort for me to post them here as well.
There are so many on this page now, I’ll try to categorize them…
The Worst
Political
Nerds
Low Number Game
Dirty/How’d They Get Away With That?
Everything Else
The Worst
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SZ MTRS. Who wants to take bets?
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I disagree.
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Crushes a lot.
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What could make a BMW driver worse? This plate.
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Ugh. The Worst.
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From /r/Connecticut
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Vanity plates are usually ego driven. Ego driven vanity plates are… disturbing.
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I believe it.
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As if we didn’t know BMW drivers were the worst already… (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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Awww, Princess drives a Mercedes (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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No plate but… The Worst.
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Political
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Trumpster1, from /r/Connecticut
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Trumpster2, from /r/Connecticut
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Trumpster3, from /r/Connecticut
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Trumpster4, from /r/Connecticut
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Trumpster5, probably.
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Nerds
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Clever one, this
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h4ck3r5 rul3
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Sauron drives a Prius. At least it’s black.
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I have learned that BAD WOLF is a Dr. Who reference. (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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From /r/Connecticut
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From /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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Low Number Game
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I found the 1.
Some thoughts on this one… First, it has led me to a probability thought experiment. If I told you my plate number, your chance of finding it is equal to finding The One (assuming many, many things are equal like the amount we drive and where we drive, etc). But why does that seem so wrong? Why does my fortuitous drive behind The One seem much more important than, say, my drive this morning behind 235 DKH? And what if I said,”I want to find 123 ABC? When you are purposely LOOKING for one oddly numbered plate, then that probably screws with the probability somehow. At least in your head.
Anyway, here in Connecticut, low numbered plates – and I’m only talking about 3 digit plates – are actually a corny status symbol for politicos. They beg outgoing governors for them and it has caused a bit of a stir in the past.
So who is The One? “Contrary to popular belief the Connecticut plate with 1 on it does not belong to the governor’s car, but to a private citizen, Kuehn said. “It was issued to a state senator from Litchfield who wrote the original Connecticut motor vehicle laws in 1903, and it has stayed in his family ever since.”
(I found that info here in an article about a CTMQ-worthy guy.)
And then I saw this pretender in Bloomfield in 2017.
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Pretender.
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And here’s a 2, from /r/Connecticut
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A “fake” 1, from /r/Connecticut
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A “combination plate” 0, from /r/Connecticut
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Here’s 02
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3 is the The Magic Number
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Haha, “I totally got a low number plate!” (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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“Low number plate? I’ve got your low number plate!” (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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Not a low number, but… what happened here? from /r/Connecticut
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Dirty/How’d They Get Away With That?
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Don’t get it?
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Here, I’ll help.
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Now if I find “2GIRLS,” I’ll have won the Internet.
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Um, wow. from /r/Connecticut
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Maybe this person needs to hook up with the above person, from /r/Connecticut
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LOL. from /r/Connecticut
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Seriously? from /r/Connecticut
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From /r/Connecticut
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A more specialized butt fan
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Multiple… from /r/Connecticut
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Singular.
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… and a TOOL.
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LOL, from /r/Connecticut
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Man, I don’t even want to tell you what this translates to. It’s “_ _ _ Eatin’ Season” with a Brazzers plate frame., from /r/Connecticut
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That’s a problem, from /r/Connecticut
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“SHART”, on the left. I wonder if he/she knows SHARTY… And the Purple Heart on the car on the right makes this not funny. (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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“FUBAR”… do the kids even know what that stands for anymore?
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Hall of Fame plate right here.
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Yet another
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“BAKKAKE”
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Some people… from /r/Connecticut
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Everything Else
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Really?
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I laughed at this one, from /r/Connecticut
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ALF’s car, from /r/Connecticut
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From /r/Connecticut
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From /r/Connecticut
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From /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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Dope, from /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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REIGN IN BLOOOOOD!!!! (celebrate nursing)
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This probably means something different to this person’s grandparents
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I guess it IS the only one.
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Sorry y’all… I kind of hate this one
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I love the beer too, but…
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Someone actually paid money for this one
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“Bev? Is that you?”
Foiled again.
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Yes.
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If a vanity plate can be insufferable, here it is.
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Captured at The Engine Room in Mystic. My son is jealous.
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Family Circus fan
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Do companies pay for this sort of thing?
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Certain plates are just so odd to me.
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Sorry for the blur – it says OMEN. No sign of Damien.
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Nothing says “Scenic” better than a beaten down truck
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Flamig Farm-mobile? (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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Who wants to go for a drive? (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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Wow, 50-Cent really has downsized since his bankruptcy filing. (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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And does this person not know that Kobe is a rapist?
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I like understated vanity plates (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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ODB shout-out (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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“Taaaaake On Me,
Take Me On…” (Courtesy of Jon Stankiewicz)
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“God, why are you driving SO SLO- oh.”
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Superfan in West Hartford
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Perfect
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Love this one.
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Why?
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Loves Pooh I guess.
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Lispy.
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“VIC TUM”… so weird.
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Dear Criminal Minds, I’ve found your guy.
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“SNOOKS”… probably changed it after The Jersey Shore
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Huge Kenny Loggins/Top Gun fan… from /r/Connecticut
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Just puttin’ it out there, from /r/Connecticut
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from /r/Connecticut
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This guy is very much against circumcision, from /r/Connecticut
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This page is cRaZy!
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This is brilliant! And amaze-balls. But you missed one of my personal favorites: SAURON on a black Prius. Because you KNOW Sauron drives a black Prius. http://auntiebeak.com/sauron.jpg
Thanks! Added – Steve
BAD WOLF is a Doctor Who reference. (That’s why it is on a Tardis blue car.
I have two favorites that I can think of off the bat, although I don’t have photos. I know a woman whose first name is Jane; her license plate is UTARZN. (Takes people a minute sometimes.) Similarly, I spotted HIHOAG (on a silver car) on the road and baffled a few friends with it when I posted my amusement on Facebook.
My own license plate (randomly assigned) spurred the naming of my car, Jenny. My plate is AC 75419, and the only way I can remember it is to sing it. (Thanks, Tommy Tutone.)
Oh, and your posting above of the LAWYER plate reminded me of one of my most favorite serendipitous moments ever. I was standing on a street corner in St. Louis and two cars went past me in immediate succession. License plate on the first was LAWYER. The second was HUMAN.
“HIHOAG” might be my favorite. Excellent and appropriately nerdy.